I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize