hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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