Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
