I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
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The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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