nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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