if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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