Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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