So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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