What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
