I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
