i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
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If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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