even my farts smell like vagina
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
