This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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