If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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