I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize