Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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