As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
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No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
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Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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