first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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