his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.