I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions