...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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