one might say we're banned from that church
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?