is your mom at the bar?
just tell him i said nine months
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I will be naked everywhere
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?