i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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