we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
