She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize