covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
