if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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