just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
