Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
