I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
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Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
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What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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