bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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