Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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