You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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