thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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