You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
