No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
