I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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