There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
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You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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