absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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