So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
