u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
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Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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