Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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