every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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