her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
