i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
