textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
