If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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