I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He shit in the fireplace
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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