The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
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Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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