i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
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Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.