he puts the penis in happiness.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.