forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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