i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
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Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
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If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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